Great Green Beast of Jealousy
by The Sketchywallflowr
Summary: This is a slash idea I had that takes place a bit before “War Stories” that might help explain why Wash seemingly out of the blue has issue with Zoe and Mal being so close.


Disclaimer: Joss Whedon owns all Firefly characters and even the entire 'verse. Damn him.

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This is a slash idea I had that takes place a bit before "War Stories" that might help explain why Wash seemingly out of the blue has issue with Zoe and Mal being so close._

He liked Mal. Mal was one of his favorite people, a good friend. Just a friend? Yes, certainly, what else? Wash shook his head and went back to piloting, what he was damn good at. It'd taken him a while to learn all Serenity's tricks, but like with a woman in bed, all it takes is patience and eagerness to learn to find the right combination to the lock. Zoe had been a bit easier to learn than the ship- Zoe was forceful about what was good and what wasn't. Serenity sometimes allowed Wash to keep on one path for a few months, then she'd kick back and decide nope, that wasn't the way it was gonna be anymore. Serenity was like a woman who'd married the same man hundreds of times and kept changing the rules on him. Yes dear, I'll spend the rest of my life with you. But oral sex? Never again. Okay, this marriage I will, but you can forget about going out with your friends. Wash had studied Serenity, had almost idolized her until she seemed too unreal to touch. But now, with the help of sweet Kaylee, he knew just where the ship liked to be touched to make her fly gracefully.

The only person who may have loved Serenity more than himself and the mechanic was Mal. It was moving and perfect how much Mal loved his boat. Wash never let on how impressed and touched he was at Mal's adoration for the girl, but he felt it every time he saw the watery green of the captain's eyes. For the first year Mal liked to tell Wash how to treat his ship, how to fix it, how to move it. Wash ignored the captain as politely as he could because as much as the man loved Serenity, he didn't have a clue as to what she needed.

It had only taken Wash a month to realize he couldn't live another day without Zoe in his life. She scared the hell out of him, which was fantastic because it was so quiet where he had come from. The women were so placid, so unmoving. Zoe had zest and life and was an Amazon beauty. Wash couldn't breathe the first time he'd realized he'd fallen for her. It was at dinner one night. Zoe had expertly stabbed a piece of Wash's steak and shot him the most daring and sultry look he had ever seen. His breath caught in his lungs and he literally stopped breathing and passed out. When he'd come to a bit later, Zoe was leaning over him with a confused and almost annoyed look on her face. "Are you all right?" she'd asked.

"I love you," he blurted stupidly. "You can't even imagine how amazingly terrifying and perfect I find you."

Zoe had laughed, not unkindly, and shook her head. "As long as you have a mustache, there is no chance in hell, pilot." Then she got up and walked away chuckling. The mustache was gone the very next morning.

It was obvious from the start Wash had fallen hard and permanently for his future wife. It took three years for him to fall for the captain.

That had been quite a slower process, one filled with denial, confusion and snarky comments. But the more Mal stayed on the bridge with him and admired the ship, the more Wash started to respect, then like, then really like, then become strangely attracted to, then become extremely attracted to, then love him. Mal was a male version of Zoe, only he had more immediate tenderness in him. The way he looked at Inara made it obvious he held deep and untouchable feelings. Wash didn't mind Mal cared for Inara. It made everything a hell of a lot easier.

Mal stopped in the bridge and said good morning to his pilot while offering him a cup of coffee.

"Thanks." Wash sipped slowly, smiling that Mal remembered how he took the beverage- sweet and dark. He had an idea he wanted to share with Mal about the stolen meds from Ariel, but now didn't seem the time. Maybe it was too early. He felt nervous this morning and didn't want to propose an idea to the captain if he was going to punk out from nerves. Mal placed his hand on the back of the chair and leaned close. A shiver ran down Wash's spine.

"Everything going according to how it should?" Mal asked casually.

"Nah," Wash lied, "Actually, we're exploding right now. You're just too on fire and dead to notice."

"Well," Mal shrugged, "as long as I'm not bothered by it."

Wash chuckled. He couldn't help but be a smartass with Mal. It was a defense mechanism. He still hated to admit he was attracted to the man, but one could only lie to oneself so long before even they don't believe it anymore. Wash turned to say something serious to the captain, but was surprised to find Mal's face right next to his. The words sat on his tongue and waited.

"She seems smooth this morning," Mal commented, looking out into the starfield. "Didn't you complain about a hiccup yesterday?"

"Yeah," Wash breathed, "but I guess she drank some water while standing on her head cuz it's gone now." Mal glanced at his pilot, eyebrow quirked. "It's an old trick," Wash explained. "Where I come from, best way to get rid of hiccups is to stand on your head and drink a glass of water."

Mal continued to stare at him. "That makes as much sense as… well, somethin that don't make no sense. How would you not get water all over yourself?"

"You don't," Wash laughed. "I tried it once when I was seven, and all the water ran up my nose. On the plus side, I stopped hiccupping on account of I couldn't breathe anymore." He and Mal shared a good laugh at his expense. "Really, though," he said, recovering slowly from his merriment, "the ship seems okay. She was jolting every so often yesterday, but maybe she just had… a…" Mal seemed to be closer now than he had been a second ago. Or was he imagining it? No, because now he could feel Mal's breath on his cheek and it was warm and chilling.

"Had a what?" Mal murmured.

"A… kink to get out." Wash swallowed.

"Guess she just needed to get something out of her system."

"Guess. Helps sometimes." He bit his lip and looked forward. "Getting things out of your system, I mean."

"Suppose."

Wash touched the controls in front of him lightly. _Focus,_ he told himself. _Just focus on Serenity. Not on the man next to you. Man, he's a man. And you have a beautiful wife. A beautiful wife who would kill you three times if she knew what you were thinking about right now ._Wash tried to think of a trivial topic to stick to. Anything to keep his mind on anything but Mal. "We should be right on schedule," he said casually, though his voice was a pitch higher than normal. He faced Mal to prove to himself he was fine. _If I can look at him and keep my cool, I'll be fine. See? It's easy. _"We got a job lined up?"

"Yeah."

"For the meds?"

"Yep."

_Now,_ Wash told himself. _Tell him your idea now. Or at the very least do something. _He decided to make Zoe ask the captain later. Right now he was going to lose his mind.

His kissed Mal.

It seemed that time melted away. Their lips touched for a brief moment before Mal pulled away, tearing the moment to shreds. He stood upright and turned away.

"I-," Wash started, turning his chair around to face Mal. "I thought-"

"Don't," Mal told him. "It ain't right."

"Right?" Wash's brow furrowed. "I wasn't considering the rightness of it."

"You got… Zoe. You have a wife."

"I know that, and I love her, but… Come on, Mal…" His lips quivered. "This has been going on for three years."

"Yeah, I know that."

"You knew?"

"Yeah, I knew. But it ain't right, okay? I'm not… I ain't doing that to Zoe. I care too much about her." Mal walked away before it got too much. He said what needed saying and there wasn't anything more to say on it.

Wash watched Mal walk away from him, his shoulders tense and his stomach sick. What had just happened? Everything had been too blurry and too fast. _I just kissed him. Whatever did I do that for?_ Because Mal hadn't reciprocated and now everything had gone to hell. Because he cared too much about Zoe.

Zoe.

It made some sense now. Wash had always wondered if something had gone on between Mal and Zoe. They had been through so much together- the war, buying the ship, taking on fugitives. Mal had never approved of it when Wash had proposed to Zoe, and had downright glowered when Zoe had accepted. And why would he do that?

Because Mal was in love with Zoe.

Maybe he cared about Inara, but only because he couldn't have Zoe. Wash spun around and slammed the dashboard with the heel of his palm. What if Zoe regretted never having been with Mal? There was always a tension between the two of them. Wash had felt something there before, but he chalked it up to jealousy because Zoe and Mal were such close friends. But maybe he hadn't been wrong.

The great green beast of jealousy was clawing its way through Wash's senses. He was starting to very much dislike Mal. Mal was the center of every problem he and Zoe ever would have. If Wash were ever to cheat on Zoe (and that wasn't all too likely, except the kiss just then. Case and point!), it would be with Mal. And Zoe took Mal's word as gospel. It wasn't that Mal felt nothing toward Wash, because the kiss didn't bother him like that at all. It was because of Zoe. Not because she was Wash's wife, either, but because Mal cared about her too much.

Wash felt his marriage was getting too damn crowded.


End file.
